Wits end….

I again lost it in Kieran’s school yesterday. Apah was away so I had to pick him up from school. It’s so tough for me as I had to make sure I shut the office on time and then drive all the way to his school which is quite a distance. I had to drive like a maniac to beat the jam to avoid being late. (I was late one time as I totally forgot about having to pick him up and I had to get Apah’s uncle to help get him first).

The first time I created a drama was when I arrived he was nowhere to be seen. It was almost 7 or could have passed 7 and he was not waiting where he should be waiting. You know it’s so hard to spot him as the mass of kids in uniform and in that particular height makes it so difficult. I was already cooked up filled with pressure from the days’ work and not seeing him only made it worse. When we finally found him, I spanked him and screamed at him right there in front of everyone.

Then yesterday I was super early waiting in line at the school and the maid went down to get him. Slowly all the cars were dispersing and still no sign of them. I slowly drove nearer and nearer the gate and still no sign of them. After a while I lost my patience and went down. I saw them but they had that blur look.

Me- WHAT’S WRONG? (I THUNDERED..)

Maid-Cannot find bag…

Me-WHATTTTT?????? WHAT DID I ALWAYS TELL YOU? THERE ARE SO MANY BAGS N KIDS, YOU MUST ALWAYS STAY NEAR YOUR BAG SO YOU CAN KEEP AN EYE ON IT. NOOOOO, YOU MUST RUN AROUND AND PLAY, LOOK AT HOW SWEATY YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I THUNDERED AND SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS)

K-(stared blankly at me with wide wide round round eyes…)

Me-I DON’T CARE LA, I REALLY CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I’M GOING OFF WITHOUT YOU! LET’S GO (I gestured to the maid to go and left Kieran standing there.)

The maid being the log she is, of course just followed me and had no compassion for the kid whatsoever and Kieran didn’t even panic or cried or tried to follow me and beg me for forgiveness. That’s why I know this gangster kid is a really tough kid.

I entered the car & immediately called Kieran’s tuition teacher to tell her that I want to stop his tuition since he doesn’t seem to learn anything and she was not cheap either. Then I had to let go steam so I called Apah of course! Good thing he was not in a foreign country, just different state. I just shouted n shouted and I guess I felt much better as I did pass some stress over to him even though there was nothing much he could do.

Then I asked that log of wood maid to go down and continue the search for his bag. I can’t really dump the kid there alone right??? After a while they finally found the bag, someone could have mistakenly taken it and then realised and left it in the guard house.

I continued scolding him in the car, nagging about how fortunate he is to have the chance to go to school bla bla bla…but I guess it just goes in one ear and comes out the other ear….as I have gone through this speech like a million times and always told him to look at the maid saying that she didn’t have the chance to study and had to come work as a maid. So with a living example right next to him also cannot motivate him I really don’t know what to do la…you teach me la…how????

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