Wits end….

I again lost it in Kieran’s school yesterday. Apah was away so I had to pick him up from school. It’s so tough for me as I had to make sure I shut the office on time and then drive all the way to his school which is quite a distance. I had to drive like a maniac to beat the jam to avoid being late. (I was late one time as I totally forgot about having to pick him up and I had to get Apah’s uncle to help get him first).

The first time I created a drama was when I arrived he was nowhere to be seen. It was almost 7 or could have passed 7 and he was not waiting where he should be waiting. You know it’s so hard to spot him as the mass of kids in uniform and in that particular height makes it so difficult. I was already cooked up filled with pressure from the days’ work and not seeing him only made it worse. When we finally found him, I spanked him and screamed at him right there in front of everyone.

Then yesterday I was super early waiting in line at the school and the maid went down to get him. Slowly all the cars were dispersing and still no sign of them. I slowly drove nearer and nearer the gate and still no sign of them. After a while I lost my patience and went down. I saw them but they had that blur look.

Me- WHAT’S WRONG? (I THUNDERED..)

Maid-Cannot find bag…

Me-WHATTTTT?????? WHAT DID I ALWAYS TELL YOU? THERE ARE SO MANY BAGS N KIDS, YOU MUST ALWAYS STAY NEAR YOUR BAG SO YOU CAN KEEP AN EYE ON IT. NOOOOO, YOU MUST RUN AROUND AND PLAY, LOOK AT HOW SWEATY YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I THUNDERED AND SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS)

K-(stared blankly at me with wide wide round round eyes…)

Me-I DON’T CARE LA, I REALLY CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I’M GOING OFF WITHOUT YOU! LET’S GO (I gestured to the maid to go and left Kieran standing there.)

The maid being the log she is, of course just followed me and had no compassion for the kid whatsoever and Kieran didn’t even panic or cried or tried to follow me and beg me for forgiveness. That’s why I know this gangster kid is a really tough kid.

I entered the car & immediately called Kieran’s tuition teacher to tell her that I want to stop his tuition since he doesn’t seem to learn anything and she was not cheap either. Then I had to let go steam so I called Apah of course! Good thing he was not in a foreign country, just different state. I just shouted n shouted and I guess I felt much better as I did pass some stress over to him even though there was nothing much he could do.

Then I asked that log of wood maid to go down and continue the search for his bag. I can’t really dump the kid there alone right??? After a while they finally found the bag, someone could have mistakenly taken it and then realised and left it in the guard house.

I continued scolding him in the car, nagging about how fortunate he is to have the chance to go to school bla bla bla…but I guess it just goes in one ear and comes out the other ear….as I have gone through this speech like a million times and always told him to look at the maid saying that she didn’t have the chance to study and had to come work as a maid. So with a living example right next to him also cannot motivate him I really don’t know what to do la…you teach me la…how????

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Major disappointment…

I have been telling people that I don’t want to stress over Kieran’s school work and said that it’s still early bla bla bla…but after we received his school exam results and what I went through with him during the recent school holidays. I don’t think so…His exam results this time was really bad..and I mean realllllllyyyyy bad! Aunty Fiona who’s been helping him with his homework was also very disappointed with the mistakes he made, most of them could have been avoided, e.g. copying the given answers and filling in the blanks…how he went wrong? He missed out an alphabet here and there for English and BM and for Chinese, he missed out a stroke here and there..

Actually I hardly accompany him in his homework and school work until last year end holidays and even then I just bought him some extra work books and made him do without really supervising him. And during the recent holidays, I actually spent a little bit more time with him and to my horror, I found that he couldn’t recognise a lot of words, in all 3 languages, English, BM and Chinese. All these while I thought he didn’t have much problems with English as he could converse pretty well. Unfortunately, he was not able to recognise the words and couldn’t spell a lot of very simple words even…

I have bought so many books but most of them have pictures in it hoping that would arouse his interest in reading but instead he looks at the pictures instead of the words! I tried giving him a very easy book to just test him and he couldn’t read even very simple words too…

Therefore for the past few days I’ve been drilling him in reciting the “times table” and spelling while we are in the car. (time in the car also cannot waste!!) I just pick up words along the way and I remember I asked him to spell train and he went..”t…..r…a…n…”!!! OMG! I was so angry and I tried to make him think by pronouncing the word slowly to make him think instead of just letting him know the correct spelling but unfortunately he couldn’t spell it. So after giving him the correct spelling, I asked him to repeat the spelling and say the word for 5 times.  Can you believe that he can get it wrong??

He starts spelling..

K- “t..r..a..i.n, Train..t..r..a..i..n..Train..t..a..i..n…” 

Me- WHAT??? WRONG!! How come half way you can get it wrong?? Why are always dreaming??

K- *silence*

Me- Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you spell it again and please get it right?? Why must you wait for me to scream at you then only you start repeating the correct spelling?? 

K - “t..r..a..i.n…..Train..t..r..a..i..n..Train…..

Measures to counter to this problem after much thought and discussion with others..

1. To call Astro and disconnect the cartoon channel..
2. Take away his favourite toys (those he usually waves them around and make funny & weird sounds, imagining the scenes in the cartoons) 
3. To spend more time with him, make him read more
4. To buy more extra work books to give him more practice (practice makes perfect..rite? no??)

In fact I just told him that I will give him 3 more months to show me if he can concentrate in his work and should he fail I will have no choice but to send him to a boarding school far far away from us. I know he still can’t bear to be away from us as there were a few times that we asked him to stay with Apoh for just one night but he refuses most of the time. So I am using this to scare him and see if he will show any improvement..Keeping my fingers crossed….wish me all the best!