I am totally at wits with regards to Kieran. People say I’m too hard on him, if I’m not hard on him now, what will be the consequences if I’m not hard on him? I see a lot of youths nowadays I oso pening kepala leow (headache) cos firstly their attire already quite outrageous, then they hold branded and the latest mobile phones, and the way they behave really disgusts me lor. I really cannot allow my Kieran to become liddat!
But no matter how much I punish him and spank him, he doesn’t seem to understand and comprehend and keeps repeating the mistakes, something like my maid leh…ayooooooo….in fact, I’ve used my maid as an example to warn him, like if he doesn’t obey me he will end up like my maid, doing hard labour la and get scolding from people like me everyday! Then I will ask him if he wanted that and he will quickly answer no wor!
Like yesterday, I asked him how is he going to spend his RM1.
Me-Are u going to bus sweets?
Me-How about cold drinks?
Me-Then what are you going to buy?
Me-What for? You already have rulers and I have a lot in the office (supplier gave ma…) Don’t buy ah!
K-ok…(in a very small voice)
Then when I saw him later that night, he waved the new ruler into my face..
K-Look mummy, RULER!!!
Me-(fuming mad) Why u disobeyed mummy? I told u not to buy, but why did u still buy it?
K-(looked so guilty with face down)
Me-That’s it, u deliberately disobey me all the time, meaning u don’t like to listen to mummy, do don’t call me mummy anymore. (stormed off)
I was so angry that I didn’t think and started throwing out his mattress and pillow and shooed him out of my room. I made him sleep in his own room but we are not able to turn on the aircon as I have not installed the door yet! So he slept with the fan only.
Me-So, do you still love mummy?
I asked a few times but he still didn’t reply….
K-You didn’t let me sleep in your room…
Me-So is that why you don’t love me now?
Sigh……So punishing him has made him stop loving me, but I love him so much that I have to punish him when I find that he’s gone out of line…how do I make him understand that punishment doesn’t mean that I don’t love him? Maybe I was too harsh when I asked him to call me mummy again….