So sad today…. :(


 

spideyboy.jpg

Look at that supposedly innocent and adorable face…but I am really at wit ends in dealing with Kieran nowadays, the password protect on the cartoon channels doesn’t seem to work now, instead he wants to watch Animal Planet, National Geographics, no not that it’s not good but his addiction to tv is still incurable! I can’t blame him though since I’m also a tv addict. But his case, when he’s watching tv, he’s like absorbed into the tv, doesn’t know how to respond until I change the channel!

The tuition teacher complains that he’s been too dependent on help with his homework. She revealed that his form teacher made him sit at the back as he is too talkative and playful! I was quite upset and went to see her today at the school.

The moment I saw her and told her I’m Kieran’s mother and her expression was like OMG, she let out a heavy sigh and shook her head! (like oh no that hopeless case of a boy kind of expression lei…can imagine or not??) The conversation below was conducted in Mandarin and I was really struggling too with my broken mandarin…

Me-Sorry but I heard that you made Kieran sit at the back. I don’t think it’s a good idea…

T-Kieran is very talkative, doesn’t  listen and never finish copying the homework from the board.

Me-Yeah I know but putting him at the back wouldn’t it be worse?

T-I have to threaten him with the cane and all sorts in order to get him to listen or do any work..

Me-Oh please I am all for the cane, beat him if you must..

T-I have beaten him before, but he’s very difficult. I have even asked him to sit on the floor as punishment..He always doesn’t complete his homework. Even during the exam, I had to scold him in order to get him going at the paper…

(WTF? sit on the floor? what kind of punishment is that?)

Me-Errr..I know that in Kuen Cheng they have a small booklet where the student writes the homework for the day so we can cross check.

T-Oh yes, we have it too, but most of the time, they are not able to write it in the booklet as they write too slowly. So I usually ask them to circle the pages and then segregate the books which contains the homework.

(Alamak!)

Me-Errr..but I think you should try to arrange to put him in front, maybe seclude him, in a desk all by himself.

T-I will try. Oh the other day after PE, the girls were changing in one room and Kieran went to peek by opening the window. So one of the girls panicked and closed the window too hard and the glass broke! I was so upset that day, the glass could have hurt the children..

(OMG!  I was sooooo embarassed…)

Me-Please try to put him in front…and don’t give up on him..

T-Ok ok I will see what I can do…

Me-Thank you, sorry to trouble you.

I called Apah and told him about Kieran and he just kept quiet and then said we shouldn’t bring him to Disneyland HK then. We were planning to bring him to HK with us this coming June, since Apah has a meeting there. I really cannot take it lor, the first thing is this, thinking how to save the hassle and $$ again. That’s not the point. I felt that this trip could be good as we can spend time with him alone without Kylie around (yes sorry, planning to dump Kylie at mom’s place, she’s too young to know what’s Disneyland is so don’t plan to waste the $$ la).

Will try to have a good talk with Kieran tonight and see what happens..wish me all the best!

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33 responses to “So sad today…. :(

  1. Sorry to hear that Amah , i know teachers tend to dump notty kids at the back of the class, but i don’t think that works on all kids, some kids might be happier to be at the back of the class as they can play or do their own things! Punishing him is a good idea but make sure u explain to him why he is being punished! and give him some reward if he improves! Don’t be so “heart pain” ok ?

  2. *hugs* Don’t feel so sad lah. He is young, still can mould and teach.
    I think that it was a good thing that you went to see the teacher today.

  3. amah… dont be sad ok. aunty angeline here ah. like i said to you in the office, lil boy needs more attention from both you and apah. and yes, this trip to HK is kind of crucial as this will sort of bond you and lil boy and also as a ‘reward’ after the punishment… remember, there is no need for cane… just some quiet sit down talking…. good luck!

  4. slow…patient…amah…i’m sure he’ll come around. no 2 kids are the same.

  5. Amah, don’t be too harsh with Kieran. He is still too young to understand. I think he is like what one of my cousin was when that boy first started school and I saw how my uncle suffered trying to discipline his son. His wife have to sit with the son every night with a cane to finish his homework. This boy also so addicted to the PC… he can sit there 24hrs. But at the end he ended up quite ok….

    So, it’s patience, love and sacrifices… maybe you need to spend more time coaching him (less TVBee) and have more heart to heart talks with him… maybe by showing him those less fortunate kids… or some tricks that could trigger him to change. Parents these days hor…. a very challenging job!

  6. I hope you will be patient…

    Every kid is different… 🙂

    All the best!

    Boys will always be boys… but what amazed me was that when we entered Form One, most of the “naughty” boys from primary school suddenly became so good and their grades were like, shooting from bottom to top!

  7. Hey, all the best yeah. The kids are really a trial to us, and I’m sure we’ll get endless worries about them till the day we die. Just hope for the best, next time you can teach me how you handle your boy ah 😀

  8. ok.. i am spamming yr comment box… what i want to say is, we are all here for you and boy. so be really patient ok… and lots of love and hugs..

    thanks! will try my best!

  9. amah, i feel the stress here when i reading this, just can’t stop myself to think what if this happened to my Jo, OMG..i also don’t know how to handle the situation. Kids so difficult to control now..don’t you agree?

    Hang on amah…”jia you”!!

    ya lor..thanks for support!

  10. he is stil young la..dont worry too much.
    kids need to play..not study all the time.

    but on the brighter side, he is an active kid! and it’s good that he talks alot!

    yeah i worry too much…

  11. I feel for you, but dunno how to advise leh cause I hv not experienced this before myself. I am sure you are not alone. Dont stress to much, he’s still young.

    thanks!

  12. peep girls ah? He’s just too curious la.

    Slowly la amah. slowly. All the best.

    no lar..i’m really angry at the peeping part only cos i know where he learned it from lor! grrrrrr

  13. Boys will always be boys. They are the naughty lot. That’s just normal! Have a good talk with him (most of the time one ear in, one ear out. lol) and really brainwashed him. EVERYDAY! *hugz*

    thanks!

  14. Probably is just a phase and he could be bored in class. Chat with him and perservere on. Have a good chat with him during your trip to HK, don’t cancel on him lah!

    yeah i will….

  15. good luck!

    thanks! 😉

  16. oh goshh…the teacher shouldn’t dump him behind, makes him lagi slack liddat 😐

    ya lor.. 😦

  17. I’m wondering if going to Chinese or any govt school will do him any good. It sounds like he’s actually got ADHD…being talkative, unable to focus on doing one thing (except TV) completely. IMHO, maybe you would like to consider something else..maybe I email to you the suggestion….

    Whatever it is… I know that it will take a superhuman effort to be very very patient with a person who is extremely active. But… I believe if you understand how his brain is wired…perhaps the conventional method is not HIS way of learning.

    hmmm…he’s able to sit down and listen to me most of the time and also comprehend what i say to him and answer me very intelligently too so i guess it’s not as serious…just doing this to get my attention gua…i dunno…*comforting myself..

  18. Sorry to hear that, amah. I heard from friends that year one is normally a big headache for the kids and parents. could be better after the teacher put him in front of the class. like you told me, he wants attention. hang in there, ok…..*hugs*

    thanks dear..will try me best!

  19. hah… LOA lar your son…..

    But yeah… the HK trip wud be a nice time to bond wif him lor… if he dun wanna go… I’m sure loads of people will volunteer to go wif you n Apah :p
    ahahahaha

    Dun frustttt so much k?? got wrinkles one… Then the pimples will pop out one by one.

    must.be.patience…..

    *see? now u know why I told u about my future decision…*

    eh don’t take this example as an excuse ah…all kids are different ok!

  20. *Unker Cocka gives candy to Kieran and pat-pat him on the head for peeping*

    Well done lad!!!! Next time peep at the teacher also. LOL

    yerrrrr….shoo shooo this cock cock kai away! so bad one…blechhhh!

  21. Kieran’s just a healthy normal active boy. He’s just going through a phase. Look at my two monkeys. Always jumping about. Your Kieran also not as cialatt as my two leh. Also, when my older one was at Puay Chai, his teacher also complained that he copies too slowly, etc etc. Think sometimes the teacher expects the kids to just sit like “dong-dongs” and do EXACTLY what the teacher says and NOT ask questions etc. Smart kids WON’T do that lor.

    The watching TV until so “yatt sun” is normal for the male species lah. CANNOT multi-task one. This one normal normal.

    As for peeping at girls, he’s just curious. Just let him know that he shouldnt’ do it lor.

    emmm…actually hor….maybe me being too strict?? i dunno…i’m afraid la…

  22. I am still very new in motherhood but as i read your blog I know it is the most challenging job on earth. All the best Amah.. hope your heart2heart talk with Kieran turns out well….

    thanks! the talk went well as always but after that…back to square one..

  23. wah i think he just need lots of attention…summore got kylie – he may have think that he has lost all his lurrve & attention coz kylie is soooo adorable & cute (how is he gonna win la!!)

    i think bring him to disneyland may be a good la, so he know he’s special lor. if u already told him u bring him now take back your word, wah…rebel more leh!!!

    bring him to disneyland memang good idea but me kiamsiap hubby..u know la!

  24. I got a lot to say because my Ryan is in a way like your Kieran, not to mention they are of the same age. Ryan is also a TV addict but as long as he finishes his homework and studies for his test, I let him watch. And when he watches TV, yes, he is sooooo GLUED to it. Even when you call him for the umpteenth time, he will not notice.

    I dunno whether you read my blog post but Ryan is naughty in school also, and that’s why he got stripped of his “Assistant Monitor” title. It’s ok to me, being AM is like free slavery. Ha ha…But I think Kieran’s teacher trying to push him to the back of the class is DEFINITELY not a good strategy. It’s like she has totally given up on him. Good for you to go and persuade her.

    As for homework, though they have that small note book, Ryan also seldom write in it. Maybe he is slow too. Yep, so homeworks are circled on the pages of the books. Perhaps you could counter check all his books to ensure that his homeworks are done. My son also gets distracted easily when doing his homework, so your boy is not alone.

    How do I cope with such behaviour? I tolerate it coz boys will be boys. I let him have his playtime and TV time when he is finished with his homework. Sometimes, I do flash the cane but I try to lower down my expectations and it helps. Just my 2 cents 🙂

    i try to remind myself again n again that he’s still a kid but i just can’t stand him not being able to obey simple commands…just ticks me off! i’m really not too bothered with his homework really cos i think the school is really overdoing it…

  25. hi amah, i understand your worries. no children are the same, can’t tell you wat to do as well. but can i suggest like one hour at home as NO TV hour? and encourage him to do his homework by himself with the ‘rewards chart’ and stickers?

    ask him what he would like to have as a reward, and each time he finishes his task, put a smiley sticker, or whichever he prefers on the chart, and when it reaches 20, or 30, up to you, he will get what he wants. this way he will have focus. and note, do not take off any stickers off the chart if he doesn’t complete it.

    maybe you have heard of this before, but worth a try 🙂

    and i agree with mommy of 2 angels. tell him you’ll bring him to disneyland because you already told him so, or that you’ve promised, but all the same tell him of your feelings, that you are upset, but will work it out together.

    good luck!

    thanks for the tip! i noticed his piano teacher oso use the sticker method…hmmm…should try hor…thanks again!

  26. Share w u a lil story, my hub last time oso very notty…much more nottier than Kieran…

    He told me his mum & his dad canned him all useless. One day, he ponteng again and caught by police, my mil din wack him but sit there cried & cried…..

    Since tat day, he turn to a good boy, good student and his study start picking up since then……

    I think tat time my mil cried really touched his heart lor, and since then, my mil told me she no need to worry about my lou gong….cos he very ‘sang seng’ liao….

    Good luck Amah!!! ‘Gambatei’!!!

    thanks for sharing this with me! i’m so glad i talked about this with everyone! maybe i will share with him again the story of the boy who played truant…..but then again each time i talk to him he is able to answer me very well! i have to remind myself again n again…he’s a kid!

  27. hi amah, am back 🙂 i googled under ‘preservatives and behaviour in children’ and lots of sites came up. you might like to check it out. of course i do give aidan junk food, afterall they are kids! but whenever i can, i substitute them with gluten free, wheat free, yeast free, heck! i wish those things come free too! 😛 and occasionally indo-mie, mcdonalds, you get the drift 🙂

    or can check out http://www.bastyrcenter.org/content/view/734/
    in the nutshell, food colourings (those colourings in cheezels and stuff) can cause major changes in children. and oh, less sugar please 🙂

    in the nutshell, minimise processed food and see how it goes. and did i mention EFALEX fish oil is great? 😛

    good luck again!

    oh wow..didn’t know that food affects behaviour too…hmmm i don’t usually feed him junk cos i’m anti junk. he only eats junk when i’m not around, ie in school so i can’t control that…oso i don’t like it when he brings back party packs from bday parties filled with junk…i usually throw them away!

  28. Sounds like any parents nightmare. Hope your talk will do some good and you will be able to get to the bottom of the problem.

    the talks i have with him is always good, he seems to be able to comprehend and understand me very well and able to answer me intelligently as well…but i guess he’s just being a kid!

  29. So many tips liao .. shud be ok guar.. Hope Kieran will turn to be a good boy … Sometimes, need to reach certain age to understand and to change wan … slowly.. hopefully i have the patient too in the near future !!.. *pengsan*

    Yes now u better learn & take notes for future usage! hahaha..lucky u started blogging before kid arrives,,,

  30. Amah, boys are boys, always naughtier than girls where I saw many cases like that. More patient to teach him, dun get angry! most of the boys will change ther behaviour when they grow older…dun worry….

    i know…he’s just a kid! i try to calm myself down but each time i see his nonsense i will flare up again…maybe i love him too much leow!

  31. This reminds me of an episode in Desperate Housewives. But in all seriousness, I hope the situation gets better soon.

    Have a good weekend!

    huh? desperate housewives? except i’m not a housewife ler…yes i’m really quite desperate to find a way to help my boy!

  32. You should be glad that he was peeping at the girls. That’s normal.
    You only start worrying when he starts peeping at the boys!
    Hahahahahahaha!!!!

    ya ya very funny….still! blueeekkkkk!!

  33. Tough huh to be a parent nowadays.. tougher if you are the mother.

    How did your talk with him go?

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